"Crossing the Line or, Feline 1 - Human 0"
By Deb Lambert
1. Casual observation of feline by human, often within the confines of the yard.
2. Eye contact - ever so briefly, human and feline exchange glances.
3. Communication by human, often just a friendly “Hi!”
4. Feline may respond - or not... probably just look aloof (all part of his “MO”).
5. Next communique by human... here kitty, kitty, or whose little kitty are you?
6. This may be answered with a casual “meow” or more ambivalence.
7. Feline struts around so you may observe its sinewy form, from all angles.
8. Human responds with, “what a handsome boy, or are you a little girl?”
9. Silence, from the feline, ensues. Such very personal information is not readily shared.
10. The above facts are reserved for the first vet trip, by which point, Feline 1, Human 0.
11. Human has no pets, but starts leaving fresh water by the door - come on, just water!
It’s not like you’re encouraging him/ her by putting out actual food! Next day, feline
engaged in ritual face cleaning, beside the water dish. Oh, oh!
12. Human starts to take “inventory” of feline’s general condition and features...
Nice green eyes, reserved but friendly, attractive coloration/ markings, overly thin.
13. Human thinks,”great potential”... Great potential? And this, while relaxing inside, away
from the feline’s inquisitive eyes ...first chink in the armor, crack in the “no-cat” rule.
Well, let the feeding begin! Because at this point, she said repetitively, the score is Feline 1, Human 0! Some kind of fancy, happy brain chemicals kick in and overwhelm you, as you watch this little orphan dig into your only can of premium white tuna.
Mentally, you plan the vet visit, shop for dishes, bed and litter box ...how exciting - a brand new family member, a little creature saved and incoming joy, for years to come! And all this because she thanked you with a sweet little “meow” and encircled your legs, while purring.
At some point, I lost the clinical, running-scientific-type-commentary and crossed the line to an up close and personal view of the feline’s seduction of homo sapiens (ah, that’s better). As easy a line to cross as the one that separated you from becoming a cat owner -- or, is it the other way around? Hmmm!
Oh, just a reminder, you may win a match now and again, but for the rest of your cat’s life, the overall score will be Feline 1, Human 0!!!
©Deb Lambert 2010
2 comments:
So glad to see Grouse and Chortle back again.
So, you have been seduced by a feline. I'm sure the relationship will grow quickly.
Been quite a while, hasn't it? This was actually a piece I wrote for a friend of mine who adopted two little female cats from her backyard, over the course of several years. She was amused, so thought I'd share.
At the risk of being the neighborhood crazy cat lady, I'll admit that my four male felines were backyard adoptions. One from years ago, whose now 13. The other three are triplets born in the backyard woodpile about eight years ago. Between 4 cats and one dog, I believe I have my quota of house pets.
Post a Comment